Waking up on Valentine's Day, 2021...
First time it's been spent single
In about 20 years...
Almost nine
In the morning...
27 degrees...
A geyser in the parking lot
From freeze cracked pipes...
There's a good chance
She's already found someone new
To spend it with...
She was never good
At facing her emotion
Alone...
Her heart
Too much for her to bear
Alone...
It's actually too much for her to bear in a relationship, as well...
This is true,
Of the heart she believes herself to have...
We all have our illusions...
We all bleed from our wounds...
Often
Our wounds are self inflicted
Because we gaged our importance
By the presence of a significant other in our lives...
Because the hurt was meted out
By someone that we fooled ourselves
Into believing we needed like oxygen
When in fact
They were more like carbon monoxide
Starving our cells of the oxygen they really need...
Sometimes
You've got to break
From the lie
And embrace the pain
Of necessary separation...
Yeah,
This is not going to be the best of my days...
It will be peaceful,
But it will be enwrapped in melancholia...
Dusted with a longing
Whose death I am patiently waiting to finally happen...
Like waiting for that call from the hospital
That a loved one has died...
No visitation to the ICU due to quarantine restrictions...
This is something you have to handle
Mostly alone...
Physically alone...
Whether triumphantly
Or pitiably
Alone...
Maybe someone sent her flowers
To place on a shelf
Like a funerary display...
Like a single black rose
Gently lain
Atop a funeral mound...
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