A day off...
In a relationship with Netflix...
Fresh coffee...
Some pretty good weed...
Nothing planned except maybe laundry...
Bills, under control...
Doing my best to fully relax...
Generalized Anxiety Disorder has given me a life of always feeling on guard...
Whether or not I'm going through real world "situations"...
Haven't needed valerian root since mid-December of 2020...
But that feeling of
Hypervigilance and unease
Has been going on for about 50+ years...
It's kind of hard wired into the system by now...
I have done some DIY repairs here and there...
But who knows what's really under the hood...
I am damaged...
Aren't we all?
You can't get through this life without losing a few pieces of your soul...
Hopefully,
You regenerate more than you lose...
Hopefully,
You gain wisdom from the trials you put yourself through...
We put ourselves in Heaven or Hell...
We are the final judges of our worth...
We choose our rewards,
And we choose our punishments...
Not always a conscious process,
But always a matter of conscience...
Even while admitting to and confronting our issues,
We can be deaf and blind to our own realizations...
A delicate dance...
Have you ever
Danced with the devil
By the pale moon light?
Have you ever
Wrestled with an angel?
Angels and devils live within us...
That little voice in your head...
Sometimes no more than a feeling...
From the gut...
From just over your right shoulder,
A voice...
Whispering in your mind...
Illuminating your third eye...
A kind of knowing that guides you,
But never really explains what to do next
In so many words...
A bit frustrating having to navigate
The inner workings of a human mind,
Especially when that mind is your own...
But
The show must go on...
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