Until this one thing gets done,
Then this other thing can't be addressed...
Thing one,
Thing two,
Thing three,
Etc.,...
Life is a Rube Goldberg style mousetrap when you are prone to generalized anxiety...
I guess it can be that way even if you're not...
Every step takes great deliberation...
Every decision can cause multiple outcomes...
And every, single one of those is what my mind tries to run multiple simulations of...
Trying to see the future...
Trying to sense any danger...
Ask yourself why you step where you step...
Question why you haven't learned enough situational awareness
To avoid being poisoned...
I have fooled myself innumerable times...
What have I learned?
I've learned that it doesn't kill me...
I've learned that I can take a lot of damage
And still continue to heal...
Physically and emotionally...
I've learned how to allow myself to experience my emotions without resistance...
I'm still not ready to go out and conquer the world,
But I'm getting closer...
Self-awareness with breaks for flights of fancy...
Becoming self-aware and remaining aware...
Still don't have all the answers,
But I'm getting closer...
There are moments of loneliness,
But they are brief...
I find the feeling of peace overshadows any potential anxieties...
I focus on self care...
I now prioritize my mental health...
My sense of stability and peace...
My sense of self taken as a complete entity, in and of itself...
I'm chained to work and rent and bills, but that's almost a meditation by now...
The repetitive cycle...
Reassuring in that every month that goes by and I can pay the rent,
The more successfully independent I feel...
Wage slavery as freedom?
Weird, huh?
The road is full of potholes and random rumble strips...
The traffic is pained by perpetual construction and wrecks...
Creation and destruction...
Sometimes you're parked in the middle of a 65 mph speed limit highway...
Try to relax...
You'll get there...
Everything eventually moves along...
Everything eventually gets done,
So that the next thing can get done...
