Where She Stops

 Just sitting here
Watching shadows cast
On the cave wall...
I know it's not reality...
It's Netflix, and Prime, and Hulu...
Reality is outside of these walls...
It's not always pretty...
Personally or publicly...
We just had an insurrection
At the Capitol...
Washington, D.C.
Well, attempted and failed,
But the charge is still
Insurrection...
There's some reality
In me, I suppose,
As I am a participant 
In said reality...
But a lot of thought
Went into
Setting up my living space...
My 
Living space...
Even got a carpet...
It really brings the room together...
There's a skeleton
On a blue couch
Holding a stack of clean towels...
Plastic skeleton
Left over from Halloweens past...
Plenty of skeletons in the closet, though...
I'm a bit of a collector...
Reading the finger bones
Like a shaman...
Scientific minded,
I ask
What will this action
Set into motion
Before I take said action...
Usually...
I can be pushed beyond
Reasonably angry...
But, usually,
I like to consider my actions...
I would rather plan ahead...
Draw mental schematics
And Venn diagrams...
Not everybody does this,
I have discovered...
That throws a wrench
Right into the gears...
Being at the mercy
Of someone else's emotional 
Twists and turns,
Highs and lows,
Love bombs and nuclear freakouts,
Made me feel
"Not me"...
Sure, we've all got problems,
And we're all
Trying
To make sense of it all
And get better...
Be better...
But
Some burdens
Are heavier than others...
Some wells
Go much deeper...
Communication
Isn't always easy
When anxiety
Cranks itself up through the roof...
Apparently,
Being in "relationships"
Gives me anxiety...
Revelations from therapy...
I'm thinking
It's about my expectations
Of myself
In relation to
What I think 
The other person
Is expecting...
It gets really tricky
When you have no idea
What to expect...
Round and round she goes...
Where she stops?
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