Rearview Toxicity

 Why do you miss them
Even though they were toxic?
Why do you miss them
When they constantly
And consistently 
Pushed you away
While securing your chains?
You aren't actually missing them,
The individual,
The unique personality
Alone in the universe,
What you thought was a guiding star,
Sparkling, brilliant...
You're missing
the companionship...
The feeling that you are not alone
In the face of existential ennui...
You see,
It's not them you are really missing,
Is it?
You are missing touch,
not just their touch,
but simple touch.
You are missing 
the warmth of their body
In the night?
A body,
Any body that's living, produces heat,
and could provide that...
You are missing those moments
When they actually did
Make you feel loved....
Needed...
Like you had a 
Family of your own...
Illusions, after all...
You are missing
Those rare moments
You felt safe,
Protected,
Accepted...
So, clearly,
It is not them
You are missing...
You're missing
What they should have been...
What you know now
They likely
Never could have been...
The reality is,
They can't give you
What you need...
They never could...
Not without you
Losing yourself
In the eye of their storm (and not even then...)
"Be Yourself..."
Please,
don't lose yourself...
There are others
So much more deserving
Of your love
and attention...
Don't waste your passion 
On them any longer...
Don't hold onto the hurt...