That's My Shit

Sitting in the Jeep,
Smoking a cigar,
Waiting for the laundry to be done...
Going over
Everything
In my head,
Still...
Still 
Having swerves in emotional stability...
Crises of conscience...
I know I can be hard to love sometimes,
But things were feeling hollow towards the end...
I felt alone...
She felt alone...
Cramped together into her tiny, overstuffed room...
That's some shit...
I couldn't figure out her language...
I was walking on rice paper
To keep 
From saying exactly the wrong thing
At exactly the wrong time...
My silence made her feel
Isolated...
And my eventual fear of speaking my thoughts or opinions
Made it that much worse...
But if I had fully opened up,
She would have likely ended things much sooner...
Not that she hadn't "ended things" every month or so...
Yes,
I still miss her touch...
And that sucks, and all,
But it's all a part of the process...
We were not a good fit...
Neither of us were prepared for the other...
I sure as Hell didn't know what I was getting myself into
(I never do...)
Really didn't have a clue
Going in
How much it would fucking hurt,
After all was said and done...
How much agony could be reaped from trying to love someone...
But,
Damn!
If this one didn't break me,
Nothing can...
Lucky for me, I'm used to cocooning...
Pupating...
Metamorphosizing...
Who knows what will emerge next...
Who knows what I will become?
You fools!
This isn't even 
My final form!!!
(Couldn't help myself...)
I enjoy memes...
The destruction of words is a beautiful thing...
Not in an Orwellian fashion, though...
It's just a shifting of the vowels...
Language is alive...
Shit happens...
Often shit we don't want...
Shit we never imagined we would have to feel...
Shit we wouldn't have signed up for if we had been using our heads a little more
Rather than using our hearts exclusively...
But,
There it is...
That's your shit...
Now you've just got to deal with it...