The Only Thing I Have Learned (Recovered from May 7, 2019)

The only thing that I have learned
At this point in my life
Is that I know absolutely nothing…
At least,
Nothing about any of the things
That I thought 
I had a little bit
Of a handle on…
Thought I had stumbled on some revelations
About love and relationships a little while back…
No…
I gained some valuable, and painful, experience,
But, no,
No closer to understanding that concept…
The world is a hungry creature…
Starving...
No amount of fuel
Will fill it’s belly…
It lives off of us…
Our pain…
“...But a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. 
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
We are the walking shadow…
All of our voices will one day be silenced…
But what to do until that time?
We are designed to want 
More…
To come together
And build futures together…
Go forth and prosper…
It’s programmed into our genetic structure,
These primitive desires…
We can learn to steer our vehicles
More precisely…
How to choose our own fate,
Rather than being victims of it…
I thought I knew about love…
But I knew nothing…
I ran from it for years…
Tried to convince myself I was
Running towards it,
But was running backwards…
Kept my eyes on it
As I attempted to create distance…
An exercise in futility
When the heart wants 
What it wants…
Sometimes life,
As selfish as it can be and seem,
Will give back…
Eventually, the darkness will relent,
At least a little bit…
And those things we keep putting back to sleep
In our hearts,
We can allow them to grow…
We have been chopped back,
Time and again,
Our inner children
Held captive by the bitter hearts
Of others…
By the selfish desires
Of lesser beings…
Gods tricked into becoming mortal…
Manipulated into experiencing limitation…
Forced to feel powerless,
Time and again…
But that light can’t be extinguished,
No matter how much
Abuse can shape our pathology,
We an find sanctuary…
A slow burning attraction,
Tantalizingly close
As years pass…
Minds and hearts in tow,
Unspoken warmth…
Closeness…
Tenderness despite the darkness…
Relatively unconditional love
Coming in pulses
Like a slow, strong heartbeat
Over a span of years…
Closeness, despite any distance
Of time or proximity…
Often enough
The one pure thing
In a world of dirt
And false promises…