Stranded…
Near to frustration tears…
Side of the road…
110 degree heat index…
Just got out of the shop…
Allegedly fixed…
Tension building…
Being on the verge of a
New life
Makes things like this,
Little setbacks,
All the more needling…
Poignant…
Acute…
Exhausting…
After the fact,
There is limbo…
Vague burdensome feeling
Like I don’t want to lean too much
On the kindness of others…
That can cause fatigue…
So there is now time to think…
Resisting the urge to brood…
Hope is on the horizon…
That’s also the title of an album
I once remastered
For a friend of mine…
Years pass quickly
In between times…
Life can make you lose touch…
The nuts and bolts of it…
What you have to do
Versus
What you want to do…
And what does thinking do?
Well,
Just now,
Right this very instant,
I remembered that this night
One year ago
I was in a motel
Paid for by two friends
After having spent the night
Sleeping in the woods…
Pigs and zebras and deer
And a cow I helped nurse,
My bunk mates…
Got myself kicked out of Hell
Because I unfortunately
Assume that people generally
Say what they mean
And
Mean what they say…
Intellectually, I know better,
But,
As logical and rational
As I try to be,
My decisions are usually based
In emotion…
Gut feelings…
Reflexes and instincts…
Basic animal needs…
I’m a fairly intelligent caveman,
But I still sometimes respond
To modern stressors
The way a neanderthal might…
Some moments
Things seem nearly overwhelmingly
Complex…
Other times
I know the end of the movie
As the opening credits begin...
There are few things that surprise me anymore,
Outside of this one thing
That keeps me afloat…
I met her in a cave…
Literally…
But every other crazy thing that happens
Around me and out in the world,
The world of people and society,
None of that
Really surprises me...
You don’t have to be Jesus
Or psychic
To see into people’s souls…
A basic understanding
Of psychology and anthropology
Is all you need
To decipher the code…
Our motivations are always
Fairly primitive
Beneath all the tradition and technology…
It’s easy when you’re watching from the outside…
Not quite so easy to see, however,
When you are in the thick
Of the experience…
Crawling out of the tar pit
A year ago
Puts the now in perspective…
I am in a much more comfortable place…
I have love and support…
I have someone to protect…
Regained much of what I had lost…
What was taken from me
Both materially and spiritually…
So this past week
Is just a minor setback…
I have been through much, much worse...
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