Peace of Mind

 It's really starting to feel like everything is going to be okay...
Knock on wood?
I have experienced peace and peace of mind for months now...
Haven't needed valerian root since this past December...
Used to take those gel caps by the handful...
Still in therapy, but weaned off of the anti-depressants...
I actually feel like a whole person...
I'm even developing a savings again...
The job is good, and they are very fair...
Bills are easily paid, and my mind gets more and more clear...
I am enjoying just being...
Finally...
I have no one pushing me to become something I'm not...
No one suggesting I be someone I don't choose to be...
I make the choices...
I reap the rewards...
I work the hours...
I make the paycheck...
The clothes get folded at my leisure...
A little bit isolationist,
But, well, covid is still in the air despite vaccines,
So I'm not alone in being alone...
Simple necessity...
Perfect time for it, actually for a multi-year pandemic...
Choosing to physically isolate isn't stigmatized, for the moment...
It's just prophylaxis, rather than a symptom of depression...
I'm doing okay...
There are moments of happiness...
Moments of hope...
Got by with a little help from my friends...
I know some love is actually real...
Lasting...
I've felt it...
I feel it...
I know I have much to be thankful for...
I still have a lot of work to do on myself, but I'm surviving...
Even thriving, to a modest extent...
Soldiering on, like I always do...
The mission is never really completed...
Not while you live...
Traversing the battlefield is the mission...
Landmines and bear traps...
Enemy fire...
Friendly fire...
Lack of object constancy...
Poor whole object relations...
These are the obstacles you may face...
Minor wounds, if you find yourself...
Help the inner child grow and mature...
Find peace...
Seek peace within yourself...