The clock is running out...
An email alert
signaled the timer
was running...
Somewhat more than two weeks
and we're free to legally
go our separate ways...
We gave it our best shot,
but I wasn't who she needed me to be,
and she wasn't who I needed her to be...
And we didn't know how to communicate
our needs clearly enough...
But even if we could have
clearly put it all into words,
would that have been enough?
I don't think so...
It may have hastened the end...
We dragged it on for a few years...
I ignored the sound of her feet
dragging over every decision I made,
over every idea I had
to try to fix us...
She ignored my pleas for affection...
I buried myself on the Internet to numb my mind...
We used to do the internet together:
Lol-cat videos and Fail videos...
Music videos and stand-up comedians...
Memes and rage faces...
It used to be a shared activity...
No longer...
I remember saying, years ago,
"At least the computer responds when I touch it..."
It was some kind of interaction
other than her talking at me...
We rarely talked together,
had actual meaningful conversations,
but she talked all of the time...
I listened and responded...
But my attention was split between the human and the silicon...
When someone keeps pushing me away,
after a while, I let them...
Glad to begrudgingly help...
But that big alligator clock that killed Capt. Hook
is ticking away
like a big cat slowly purring...
Who doesn't fear the ravages of time?
The biological clock keeps ticking...
I'm not getting any younger...
There are dozens of timers and clocks and buzzers and bells
in A Clockwork Orange style arrangement...
All of them seem to be converging on one single point...
One massive crossroads...
Where time is moving faster and faster,
and yet I am aware of every detail
as if it were in slow motion...
Moving like Neo in The Matrix franchise...
I don't know what the future holds...
But I am ready for it...
I face it like turning my face to the sun...
It is warm...
It is warmth...
I don't feel any icy tendrils of cold air...
I don't smell snow in the air...
I feel life...
Rich deep soil full of life...
Full of potential...
All clocks will eventually run down...
This is just one of many...
Everything we do eventually gets measured by time...
This one keeps ticking until freedom is officially recognized...
Lives will go on...
The sun will keep shining...
All the stars will keep their places in the firmament...
Everything will be the same,
but I will open my eyes to a whole new world...
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