Face Time

 Seeing her face to face
For the first time in months...
There was no
Tidal wave of emotion
Like I had feared...
There was no longing...
No sudden realization
That I needed this person
Back in my life...
Just business...
Signatures on tax returns...
Settling debts...
She didn't shine
Like she used to...
When I loved her,
She was always beautiful...
Now,
She felt like a stranger...
Someone I wouldn't even
Look twice at
If I saw them in a crowd...
There was no sparkle
In her eyes...
That shine and sparkle
That I used to see
Must have been a photo filter
Placed on her
By my own imagination...
I was polite,
Business-like,
But, internally,
It felt awkward and weird...
It felt odd
That I didn't see her
As the shiniest object
In the room...
She now seemed
Forgettable...
This moment was
The removal of the lynchpin 
That bound us together...
The moment that showed me
It's okay to move on...
That I most definitely
Deserve better...
That I am complete,
With or without
A "significant other"...
I have a family...
I have friends
That are family,
And in some ways
Closer than family...
Even being a step-father,
Which I have been
To five different people, 
Is not something I need
To feel complete...
Three out of five
Resented the idea of it, anyway,
So
Maybe I don't want
To be a replacement
For something lost...
I am an original...
I deserve to be the first...
Anyway,
The meeting was quick...
Over in a flash...
Slightly dazed by the lead-up,
But underwhelmed
By the ultimate reality...
Sorry, not sorry...
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