Not That Broken

 It just popped into my head while driving,
This thought that I'm not all that broken,
After all...
Not nearly as much as I thought...
I'm not too many miles away from neurotypical...
Yea, I've done some stupid shit in the past,
But I've procured for myself a certain measure of psychological equilibrium...
That doesn't mean I won't do stupid shit in the future...
Even the most well-balanced can fall into well-placed tiger traps...
But, in the future,
It will be informed stupid shit...
It will be brand new stupid shit...
Spectacularly so...
There are always more lessons to learn...
I know what not to do within the scope of what I have already done...
I'm sure there are bountiful areas of life experience,
As yet unknown to me,
Where I have none of the necessary tools to cope...
Not the brand specific tools, anyway...
But I will make the tools from whatever is at hand,
As I always do...
MacGyver style...
I recognize that the future is not yet written,
And can feel uncertain, at times...
But I feel ready for it...
Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory...
I am going to get the most out of my time here on Earth
Mining existence for experiences...
How can you know evil until you touch it?
How can you know good until you experience it?
It is like that with everything...
I learn by doing...
Mistakes aren't failures...
Even Hellfire raging tempest tossed fiascos aren't failures...
All are lessons...
You can't succeed without screwing up a bunch of times...
Isn't that what they say?
And it's never too late to succeed...
I've been busy for the last 51 years gathering knowledge...
Gathering experiences...
Doing stupid shit,
But also working magic and performing miracles...
Believe it or not, I've been known to actually inspire people...
Imagine that...
I have an integrated view of myself...
I accept the good and the evil...
The light and the shadow...
I'm neither the best, nor the worst,
But I can be pretty awesome,
When I'm on top of my game...
(Healthy narcissism is a good thing -
Self-esteem is a rare gift
More precious than you might think...)