Waiting in the parking lot...
I look at my hands
Like they tell you to do
When you realize you're dreaming...
Trying to slow my heartbeat
While still smoking the vape
That makes it increase...
Pacifier for the inner infant
With no concept
Of right or wrong...
At least the caffeine intake
Has been cut back...
Minimal headache action...
Fidgeting with an electronic device,
Searching for signs
That someone is listening...
Hits, page views, messages, etc.
Valerian root gel caps
And kava kava in the backpack...
Long periods of time
With little to do
But observe
Or wait
At an hourly pay rate...
Genetically prone to anxiety
When thoughts have the time to wander...
Have to remember to breathe
Deeper and slower...
Focus on a fixed point...
Find something to do with my hands...
Stumble drunken words
Unaffected by spirits...
Accidental meditation...
Remember to stay hydrated...
Time crawling should be relaxing,
But it isn't...
Eyes move to access memories,
Focus on that one fixed point...
Waiting for myself in the parking lot...
Windows open to harvest a slight breeze...
I am who I am waiting for, after all...
Waiting for me to catch up with myself...
Biding my time...
Trying not to feel like much of it has been wasted...
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