Fortress of Solitude

 I feel a little more calm
Smoking in the car
Right now...
Thinking...
Breathing...
Allowing myself to succumb
To stream of consciousness
Thinking...
One thing leads to the next
And to the next
And so on...
Letting the stream flow...
I've always felt
Particularly content
In any vehicle I've owned...
That first iconic symbol
of freedom...
Even better than the first time,
As a kid,
You're allowed to ride your bike
Farther than your driveway,
Your block,
The township...
Long night drives
On winding backroads...
Radio on...
Usually...
Not lately...
Still waiting 
For the music to come back...
I can hear its faint heart beat
Slowly getting stronger...
In high school,
The music was Pink Floyd...
Everything from the Syd Barrett days
To about The Wall,
When Roger Waters
Split with the group...
Artistic differences
And power struggles,
Ego clashes...
Just like a real divorce...
Sometimes emotions can be too brittle,
And eventually shatter...
Well, I shattered...
No tears, thanks to modern medicine...
Came close though...
This time...
Free falling through space...
Zero gravity...
The Earth getting
Smaller and smaller...
It's okay, though...
I've been in this position
Countless times by now...
I always
Find my way back to Earth...
Got to start making better choices...
Or, more precisely, 
Different decisions...
I've patched things up
With duct tape and glue guns before...
Kept the craft airtight
In the cold vacuum of outer-space...
Waiting for my orbit to
Eventually decay...
My fortress of solitude...
My motor-vehicle...
Sometimes my home
At certain times in my past...
So I sit here,
Outside the new apartment
With the engine idling...
Thinking...
Letting things go...
Embracing the new...
Turning another page...
Listening to the 
Engine hum....
Sitting in my Jeep...
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