Lost in the Illusion

 It's like floating...
Like falling backwards...
Like that moment
Right before you go to sleep
Where you feel your body
Drop...
Right down through the mattress
As if it were suddenly,
For an instant,
Gone into some other dimension...
And you startle yourself
Awake...
Imagine that,
But slower,
And more constant...
A pervading and persistent feeling of falling...
Very slow motion...
It feels like fading away...
Dispersing in the wind...
Dissolving into the Universe...
Just one
Infinitesimal part
Of this impossible thing...
This is all a dream...
Once upon a time,
The nothingness 
Became self aware...
If the true concept of nothing,
Void, the Absolute, exists,
Then not even the rules of 
Time, space, and physics
Exist...
So,
Upon self examination,
By becoming aware
Of its lack of being,
It suddenly
Became something...
No rules...
And this really blew its mind...
Why do I exist?
How do I exist?
What am I?
Not asked in words,
But in emotions
Churning through 
This new mind...
*
The nothing become something
Likely freaked out...
Shattered like glass
Into an infinitude of pieces
Exploding out
Into a new concept 
Called "space/time"...
The Big Bang...
*
And here we are,
13 or so 
Billion years later,
Apes who can build things...
Apes who can fly...
Apes who drive cars...
Apes who suffer
From all manner of psychological
Angst, anxiety, and depression, 
Asking,
"Why do I exist?
How do I exist?
What am I?"