Friday, November 19, 2021

Work Smarter, Not Harder


 It's done. 
No more strings.
No more excuses.
No more needling reasons
To consider further communication. 
There was one last thing.
One last financially shared task
Thanks to the IRS and Covid-19.
Two names on the checks,
Hers and mine.
I avoided her for months.
1200 dollars not enough
To make me want to
Be in her presence,
But...
Time was ticking by...
The Jeep was scheduled for maintenance 
A couple weeks before today,
For tomorrow...
Might be expensive...
So, I unblocked her from messenger...
Dragged my feet on "reaching out,"
Lots of inner dialog 
About the pros and cons,
A conditioned fear response
Still clinging to my resolve, 
But I had a feeling
She'd magically realize
She was no longer blocked...
Humans are nothing
If not predictable...
Sure enough...
She did...
Almost like clockwork 
Just a few days in...
Work smarter, not harder... 
We set up a meeting that very day...
On the drive to the bank, 
I threw up in an empty drink cup
That was set aside
For just such emergencies...
[Anxiety is a bitch...]
Even if the mind can forget,
The body remembers...
Grey rocked the interaction...
No emotion...
Just business...
Squaring up our very last 
Financial entanglement...
Left as soon as the cashier
Handed me the receipt
For my half
Of the interaction...
"Thank you..."
Is all I said...
Then put her back to blocked...
She had served her purpose...
Does that sound sociopathic? 
Sometimes survival comes first,
Before feelings...
If you tap the keg,
Some people will drain it in minutes,
And then blame you
For their thirst
When everything is gone...
When there's nothing left to give...

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